It was the potential for glory and making a name for yourself that attracted you to it.

Still, it seems that your drive for survival meant you made certain sacrifices yourself.

[ Blade, unlike most people perhaps, does not judge Yuri for needing to leave behind her comrades. ]

As for the Abundance...think of it like that creature in the memory. Those born from it only desire to keep taking and taking, in some form. But, in the guise of 'granting' a blessing of eternal life.

That Aeon is one you will never wish to meet should you want to have a hope of retaining your mind.