There was something like the week of everyone sharing their memories in visual form before I came here, but it was Gregor's. We... had a lot more in common than expected. Both outcasts in our respective sectors with situations that we couldn't do anything about.
Hm. So you had already experienced a memory share, and had context for Gregor's background even before coming here.
[ ... ]
While I no longer understand what a bond like that is like, I can imagine the agony at losing someone who would be able to always comprehend your perspective, and share such similarities.
Because humans are social creatures. No matter how much we want to be alone, there is always a part of us that wants to be with or connect to someone else. This is why solitary confinement exists to wear down the mind.
...I can't consider myself human any longer. Even now.
[ But, Blade finds a slight feeling of contradiction within himself. A memory comes on by, of a time when they were on the first planet; someone told him about being not obligated to stick around, and then...his own response.
Though, during that week, they were all feeling strange. Can he say that even when he felt an urge to stick to people that it was his own desire? As for his desire to connect, was that what he felt when he thought he was crumbling apart? But being unable to put into words that is what he wished?
He didn't used to dwell on these things, considering them insignificant, but he considers them. Even when he shouldn't, with the feeling his ultimate goal has not changed; just some elements. ]
However, it is true that I couldn't imagine being confined away from everyone else for an indetermined time. I would no longer be the person I am today.
[ Yuri laughs a little. It's really strange to laugh right after seeing Gregor be executed by Rodya. She was bent on not being happy this entire day, but... ]
Blade hadn't expected he'd make her laugh. Especially on a time like this; there is even a pause at that, as he considers his own response carefully. ]
There is no need for thanks.
But...if I could make you appreciative, in light of the circumstances, I will acknowledge it.
[ Which is what he will be trying to avoid making happen, for once. ]
Hm.
I'm accustomed to doing so...but making an exception in this case I feel would be wise. Even if I can't say minding other's state of minds and the like is something that I am used to or much good at doing.
Blade used to find the idea kind of daunting and still would hesitate to admit that he would to most people. But, right now, it doesn't seem strange. ]
...Hm. Good.
[ Not always a man for many words, he will be content to leave it at that. Furthermore, so that we can probably edge towards ending this thread as our inboxes are inevitably being destroyed with return of the dead, he will probably linger a bit, until he sees fit to leave. ]
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And right now, Yuri is feeling unwell enough that he doesn't want to make it worse. ]
...What do you mean by 'similar pains'?
[ Blade remembering all the times he has assumed wrongly so far... ]
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[ ... ]
While I no longer understand what a bond like that is like, I can imagine the agony at losing someone who would be able to always comprehend your perspective, and share such similarities.
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[ She smiles a little at him as if to ask "right?" even if Blade can't imagine himself being in that sort of situation. ]
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...Though, this time he doesn't immediately feel completely against it like he had in that week. It's a bit more nuanced now. ]
...It doesn't sound wrong.
Even if I believe it seems like it could be dangerous, I understand how it could be a potential boon now.
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[ She won't be afraid to admit that she was lonely. ]
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As it is, he finds no reason to do any of the sort. Particularly not now. ]
...Why do you think that?
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Because humans are social creatures. No matter how much we want to be alone, there is always a part of us that wants to be with or connect to someone else. This is why solitary confinement exists to wear down the mind.
[ The more you know! ]
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[ But, Blade finds a slight feeling of contradiction within himself. A memory comes on by, of a time when they were on the first planet; someone told him about being not obligated to stick around, and then...his own response.
Though, during that week, they were all feeling strange. Can he say that even when he felt an urge to stick to people that it was his own desire? As for his desire to connect, was that what he felt when he thought he was crumbling apart? But being unable to put into words that is what he wished?
He didn't used to dwell on these things, considering them insignificant, but he considers them. Even when he shouldn't, with the feeling his ultimate goal has not changed; just some elements. ]
However, it is true that I couldn't imagine being confined away from everyone else for an indetermined time. I would no longer be the person I am today.
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... You would laugh more often, right?
[ Hehe. ]
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A huff does escape him at that, though. ]
It would not be for a good reason.
[ Blade points out immediately, of course!! ]
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Blade... thank you.
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Blade hadn't expected he'd make her laugh. Especially on a time like this; there is even a pause at that, as he considers his own response carefully. ]
There is no need for thanks.
But...if I could make you appreciative, in light of the circumstances, I will acknowledge it.
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[ She smiles a little at him. ]
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Hm.
I'm accustomed to doing so...but making an exception in this case I feel would be wise. Even if I can't say minding other's state of minds and the like is something that I am used to or much good at doing.
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[ She appreciates the effort. Blade making an effort into something would mean he cares about said thing, is what Yuri thinks. ]
So... thank you. I won't forget what you've done for me.
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Blade used to find the idea kind of daunting and still would hesitate to admit that he would to most people. But, right now, it doesn't seem strange. ]
...Hm. Good.
[ Not always a man for many words, he will be content to leave it at that. Furthermore, so that we can probably edge towards ending this thread
as our inboxes are inevitably being destroyed with return of the dead, he will probably linger a bit, until he sees fit to leave. ]no subject