well. even temenos, master of squirming out of talking about his feelings, is weak in the face of this. there is a long pause where he looks like he is trying to decide what to say, kind of opening and closing his mouth.
and then, eventually, because and only because it is yuri who is asking, he will acquiesce a little. ]
... His Holiness died very recently, and very suddenly. He lived a long life, but nevertheless, it came as a surprise.
[ to say temenos is bad at this kind of thing is putting it extremely likely. yuri can feel it in the fact that he is very, very tense - even with the handhold, it's like dealing with a cat that's still deciding if it wants to be held.
now's a good time. is it? with everything still in motion here, is there time to ever stop? does he even want to? can he actually face the magnitude of everything that has happened in the past few weeks at home, let alone here?
he takes a breath. an inhale, and exhale. and then chuckles, very quietly. ]
I confess - I am not particularly good at being led. Always the shepherd, never the sheep.
[ at least he's been able to help yuri. that's the kind of thing that temenos really thrives off of, the kind of thing that helps him more than anything. always the shepherd, guiding the lambs, just like he said. sometimes, he's more of the cleric than he is a person - they exist in two separate theaters, like two separate bodies.
she does have to be patient, as it turns out, because he's quiet for a while. ]
... The Pontiff was a man above all other. Not only for his station, but because of his actions. He was kind and golden-hearted, in the way that very few people truly are, and more than anything, he wanted to help others. Not only that, but he was clever, too - brilliant. I learned much from him, as I grew older, far beyond the simple lessons of becoming a cleric or learning of the Church's teaching.
He did not have to take me or the other foundling in, when we were left at the Church, but he did. It speaks to his character, that he did not pass us off to one of the nuns, or to one of the lower members of the Church, but he saw the two of us and chose to take us under his wing. He was...
[ .... ]
... One of the only people I have ever trusted beyond a shadow of a doubt. And he was worthy of it.
[ he glances over at her at the comment and huffs a bit of a laugh; the warmth of the smile reaches his eyes, and eventually, he returns the squeeze. ]
I'm sure he would have liked you very much.
[ it'd be hard not to. like, how could anyone not like yuri, but also, he probably would have seen the same thing in her that temenos does.
maybe, in a way, this is his way of grieving - of talking about it. the fact that the words are even coming out of his mouth is nothing short of a miracle. it means that he's grappling with it, the loss of someone who temenos' entire world revolved around. ]
[ i will eat anyone who is mean to yuri. me. sisi. and also temenos probably
he chuckles a little at that, considering it. ]
No, not necessarily. [ no, that would be someone else that he knew, once. ] But he was a fair judge of character. He would not discount someone for one poor action, or exalt someone for one act of kindness; he taught me in many ways to observe others as whole people, as opposed to their parts.
[ fond. openly fond, this time. the pontiff was a bleeding heart - he wasn't the only one. temenos is far more measured than him, far more cautious, but it's clear they've something in common.
the bit about what she did... he turns his head to look at her out of the corner of his eye, for a long moment, and then looks back at the grave. ]
... The scriptures often teach that love is about forgiveness. Whether that is to forgive yourself, or to be forgiven by others...or, whether that is to come to the understanding that we are all human, in the end. The Sacred Flame, above all, is the light. When we find ourselves in darkness, we reach back in.
I... always felt guilty about it. When my old job collapsed, I barely made it out. I left my old coworkers there as the institution went under... after that, it was hard to convince myself... whether I deserved to leave or not. I was always told by others that I didn't amount to anything, so that's what I eventually believed... only with Aya defending me.
But still, I... I think I'm learning to forgiveness myself, little by little and that's because of the people here. You too, Temenos. I... look up to you, really.
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[ ... ]
Please.
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well. even temenos, master of squirming out of talking about his feelings, is weak in the face of this. there is a long pause where he looks like he is trying to decide what to say, kind of opening and closing his mouth.
and then, eventually, because and only because it is yuri who is asking, he will acquiesce a little. ]
... His Holiness died very recently, and very suddenly. He lived a long life, but nevertheless, it came as a surprise.
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I don't know whether they're standing or sitting in front of the gravestone, but Yuri will slowly hold her hand out for Temenos to hold. ]
... Did you have time to grieve?
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... he will reach out, after a moment, to take it gently. ]
No. [ ... ] There was a case to solve, after all.
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You don't have a case to solve right now, so I think... now is a good time.
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now's a good time. is it? with everything still in motion here, is there time to ever stop? does he even want to? can he actually face the magnitude of everything that has happened in the past few weeks at home, let alone here?
he takes a breath. an inhale, and exhale. and then chuckles, very quietly. ]
I confess - I am not particularly good at being led. Always the shepherd, never the sheep.
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[ Yuri is patient, so she will wait for Temenos. ]
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[ at least he's been able to help yuri. that's the kind of thing that temenos really thrives off of, the kind of thing that helps him more than anything. always the shepherd, guiding the lambs, just like he said. sometimes, he's more of the cleric than he is a person - they exist in two separate theaters, like two separate bodies.
she does have to be patient, as it turns out, because he's quiet for a while. ]
... The Pontiff was a man above all other. Not only for his station, but because of his actions. He was kind and golden-hearted, in the way that very few people truly are, and more than anything, he wanted to help others. Not only that, but he was clever, too - brilliant. I learned much from him, as I grew older, far beyond the simple lessons of becoming a cleric or learning of the Church's teaching.
He did not have to take me or the other foundling in, when we were left at the Church, but he did. It speaks to his character, that he did not pass us off to one of the nuns, or to one of the lower members of the Church, but he saw the two of us and chose to take us under his wing. He was...
[ .... ]
... One of the only people I have ever trusted beyond a shadow of a doubt. And he was worthy of it.
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I'm glad... that you had that sort of person in your life. I really am. For such a great person to be a part of it... I'm almost jealous.
[ Yuri smiles a little nervously. ]
For a special person like the Pontiff, I think it's only fair to make some time for him... don't you think?
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I'm sure he would have liked you very much.
[ it'd be hard not to. like, how could anyone not like yuri, but also, he probably would have seen the same thing in her that temenos does.
maybe, in a way, this is his way of grieving - of talking about it. the fact that the words are even coming out of his mouth is nothing short of a miracle. it means that he's grappling with it, the loss of someone who temenos' entire world revolved around. ]
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From how you speak of him, it sounds like he'd like everyone.
[ Prove her wrong. Talk about him more. Do it. ]
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he chuckles a little at that, considering it. ]
No, not necessarily. [ no, that would be someone else that he knew, once. ] But he was a fair judge of character. He would not discount someone for one poor action, or exalt someone for one act of kindness; he taught me in many ways to observe others as whole people, as opposed to their parts.
He might have tried to adopt you on the spot.
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[ PLEASE. ]
But still, it makes me a little happy to hear that, on being loved despite what I did.
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[ fond. openly fond, this time. the pontiff was a bleeding heart - he wasn't the only one. temenos is far more measured than him, far more cautious, but it's clear they've something in common.
the bit about what she did... he turns his head to look at her out of the corner of his eye, for a long moment, and then looks back at the grave. ]
... The scriptures often teach that love is about forgiveness. Whether that is to forgive yourself, or to be forgiven by others...or, whether that is to come to the understanding that we are all human, in the end. The Sacred Flame, above all, is the light. When we find ourselves in darkness, we reach back in.
Not that I mean to proselytize by any means.
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I... always felt guilty about it. When my old job collapsed, I barely made it out. I left my old coworkers there as the institution went under... after that, it was hard to convince myself... whether I deserved to leave or not. I was always told by others that I didn't amount to anything, so that's what I eventually believed... only with Aya defending me.
But still, I... I think I'm learning to forgiveness myself, little by little and that's because of the people here. You too, Temenos. I... look up to you, really.