[ that's good, at least. he'd felt the panicked, sharp breathing when she'd been in the midst of panicking. it hadn't been pleasant. this soft breathing in and out is much better -- and he hates to ruin that, but... ]
...
Good. Good, but--
You... know I'm going to ask about the apple thing. Eventually, if not right now.
[ how could he not after what happened back there? hearing her scream like that was harrowing. ]
[ Who knows when they'll be able to talk about this later?? Either of them can die anytime. But she appreciates Shu's concern anyway. ]
It's... well... I haven't died.
[ That's obvious, isn't it. ]
... Yet. I came from a point of time when I was very close to getting killed. Gregor and Rodya experienced my death already in their own point of time. I don't think this was a branching timeline either. It's just... a single timeline.
[ oh it's a wonderful day when a conversation starts with "well... I haven't died.", honestly. shu's arms tighten briefly, like a reflex hearing that, and what comes after.
a single timeline, and two out of three of the people part of it had seen one of them die. like an inevitabilty.
"You'd get mad if your family said 'I'm probably gonna die, but it's no biggie,' wouldn't you?"
he hadn't really understood at the time -- the fact he could die was just life. like karma waiting behind him and he spent his days wondering when his steps would be too slow to outrun it. when it would catch up to him. it's not an if, it's a when. barely anyone gets to choose the day they die, after all.
teuta getting mad about it had been strange and a little concerning. he hadn't seen the point.
it's a bit different when it's yuri telling him she was doomed to die.
... Yes. I didn't expect Gregor to have an E.G.O. linked to it, but...
[ ... ]
During the week when we saw each other's memories, I saw one of Gregor's. He witnessed me getting killed by the Golden Apple abnormality and I... saw it from his perspective.
[ projmoon really did traumatise gregor and then give an ego based on watching this nice girl die.
... no wonder she'd reacted like that. finding out something was going to kill you, seeing your own death through someone else's eyes and then seeing that person with a representation of your death in a situation like the one they'd all just seen?
[ Yuri gets it. She wouldn't know what to say to something like that either. That's why she snuggles closer to Shu with the blanket. ]
Truthfully, I... didn't know Gregor or Rodya any longer than several days before coming here, but what they did for me... was so important. They were under a separate company and I was contracted by them. That's how we met. In the days of being an outcast because of something I couldn't help... that no matter what I did, the stigma would outweigh anything I do... Gregor understood me so deeply from how we experienced similar things. Rodya... invited me to join the company. It probably done in jest and there would be many complications, but...
[ This is why being invited is important to her. ]
... I could finally feel that I could belong somewhere.
[ he'll untangle a hand to tug the blanket up over her head, just so he can prop his chin there without touching her directly. ]
... I think if anyone could swing something like that, it'd be Rodya. [ purely just be being herself, it feels like. ]
I saw some of Gregor's background that week, some of the shit he went through before ending up where he was. [ him understanding... makes sense. ]
Seems like they've made it pretty clear you still belong with them, if that's what you want. I'm pretty sure that can be a feeling, a friendship, something like that, rather than you having to put yourself in danger like that for it.
... [ so bad because of gregor and what was happening to him and what happened to him in the past, and a bad reminder of what had happened to her in a way. ]
Bad memories all around then. That won't have made it any easier.
It wasn't great for anyone. We also experienced a small portion of it before we came here. It was like the week when we were all looking at each other's memories.
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... Thank you... for back there.
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You don't have to thank me for that.
[ it was the only thing he could think of doing, but it hadn't helped with the problem at large. ] No tightness in your chest? Breathing okay?
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[ With that, she even quietly breathes out. Yuri leans on him with the blanket in between. ]
I'm... better.
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...
Good. Good, but--
You... know I'm going to ask about the apple thing. Eventually, if not right now.
[ how could he not after what happened back there? hearing her scream like that was harrowing. ]
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... It's fine. I can... talk about it now.
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... You sure?
[ because he's all ears if she's willing to talk about it. she did just go through what he would class as literal hell, though. ]
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[ Who knows when they'll be able to talk about this later?? Either of them can die anytime. But she appreciates Shu's concern anyway. ]
It's... well... I haven't died.
[ That's obvious, isn't it. ]
... Yet. I came from a point of time when I was very close to getting killed. Gregor and Rodya experienced my death already in their own point of time. I don't think this was a branching timeline either. It's just... a single timeline.
[ So her death would be inevitable. ]
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a single timeline, and two out of three of the people part of it had seen one of them die. like an inevitabilty.
"You'd get mad if your family said 'I'm probably gonna die, but it's no biggie,' wouldn't you?"
he hadn't really understood at the time -- the fact he could die was just life. like karma waiting behind him and he spent his days wondering when his steps would be too slow to outrun it. when it would catch up to him. it's not an if, it's a when. barely anyone gets to choose the day they die, after all.
teuta getting mad about it had been strange and a little concerning. he hadn't seen the point.
it's a bit different when it's yuri telling him she was doomed to die.
ah. i get it now. ]
...
And it's linked to that apple.
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[ ... ]
During the week when we saw each other's memories, I saw one of Gregor's. He witnessed me getting killed by the Golden Apple abnormality and I... saw it from his perspective.
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... no wonder she'd reacted like that. finding out something was going to kill you, seeing your own death through someone else's eyes and then seeing that person with a representation of your death in a situation like the one they'd all just seen?
... ]
...
[ what do you even say to that? "sorry"? ]
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Truthfully, I... didn't know Gregor or Rodya any longer than several days before coming here, but what they did for me... was so important. They were under a separate company and I was contracted by them. That's how we met. In the days of being an outcast because of something I couldn't help... that no matter what I did, the stigma would outweigh anything I do... Gregor understood me so deeply from how we experienced similar things. Rodya... invited me to join the company. It probably done in jest and there would be many complications, but...
[ This is why being invited is important to her. ]
... I could finally feel that I could belong somewhere.
[ But then she died. ]
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... I think if anyone could swing something like that, it'd be Rodya. [ purely just be being herself, it feels like. ]
I saw some of Gregor's background that week, some of the shit he went through before ending up where he was. [ him understanding... makes sense. ]
Seems like they've made it pretty clear you still belong with them, if that's what you want. I'm pretty sure that can be a feeling, a friendship, something like that, rather than you having to put yourself in danger like that for it.
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[ Yuri quietly sighs. ]
... It was terrible. The background of the simulation room was awful.
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...
[ he bumps his chin on the top of her head. ]
You recognised it?
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[ She frowns, but lightens up when she feels the bump on her head. ]
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Right. [ if it’s a war, then— ] And that’s the sort of thing that can lead to a collapse and someone being without a Wing, when it breaks?
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More or less, yes.
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... [ so bad because of gregor and what was happening to him and what happened to him in the past, and a bad reminder of what had happened to her in a way. ]
Bad memories all around then. That won't have made it any easier.
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[ She quietly sighs. ]
It wasn't great for anyone. We also experienced a small portion of it before we came here. It was like the week when we were all looking at each other's memories.
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[ Yuri turns a little to bury her face into the blanket, but it's basically where his chest is so. There. ]
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