[ Well, Blade has been walking through the halls himself. Aimless almost, but not exactly looking for too many faces. He steps into many rooms, expecting to see someone. Simulation room, Titan's call, Observation deck...but no dice. No, that person is no longer...
Then, he manages to stumble across Yuri. Or maybe he was looking for another familiar face all along...hah. The vibes are rancid, though they just slide far enough that he doesn't feel off-balance in a certain way he easily could have been. ]
...You're looking to bring cheer in some way to yourself. Aren't you?
[ Fortunately, when Yuri looks up at Blade, her eyes don't seem as lost as they were after... certain previous trials. Still, she doesn't smile and merely moves the cushion on the couch to the other side. It's an invitation for him to sit next to her. ]
... I wouldn't say that, but it's nice to have something so... mundane running in the background.
[ A surprise. Blade had wondered if she might have been, but she has continuously become even more resilient, it seems.
He wordlessly accepts her invitation, coming close to sit down, though it feels as if his own movements are not unlike a specter's. Until, of course, he turns his head back to her, and feels he can speak again in reply. ]
[ Well, considering how she has become even stronger lately, he accepts the answer with a nod. ]
Yes.
They had their own reasons. Between desperate hopes unfulfilled, and whatever kind of personal matters, there is the dangerous element...
[ He is just one person so he recognizes he could not have prevented the result. Despair is a familiar companion. Anger, that remains buried, but only as a broken red haze. He could not remedy what occurred the night of those deaths, nor avenge it. ]
For most, they may simply also fear for their survival.
[ Blade looks from the TV at her, when she asks. No one dares to ask him such a thing at all, for good reason. There's a pause, and finally he answers. ]
...I recognize that I am still alive, strange as it is.
Whatever I feel at any given time is nothing pleasant. I'm sure you can recall enough about myself to conclude that isn't incorrect.
[ Admittedly, he supposes he was being a bit deliberately obtuse. Very well then.
His lips spread into a familiar off-smile, as if amused, even if the weight sits heavy within him. Not exactly simple amusement, but he feels a laugh about to bubble up in his throat. ]
Is that so...? Nothing earth-shattering...some disappointment of my own. That the wish the results were different...
[ A flicker of something like intense candle-light visible in one of his eyes; nothing supernatural, just emotion. He thinks his words speak for themselves. The way he utters them with a cold smile. ]
[ His words are even colder, though his tone is somewhere strangled, as if he is trying to hold back the emotion; probably a psychologically lasting effect of the week, because he isn't angry at her. The smile has at least gone. ]
Everyone else...they may have felt that way. However, her words weren't the ones that moved me.
[ Yuri looks over at Blade. She thought for sure that it was Rosamund's words, because Yuri thought Blade could relate in wanting an ending by his own hands.
[ An ending by his own hands...does a sinner like him even deserve that? Watching these proceedings over and over again has made him question it.
And if it comes at the hands of another and is, in fact, permanent, then he would accept it. He and Rosamund can't compare; the way she is indicative of the type of life she lead. Far different from his. And his own personal hang-ups on the matter. ]
Then...it is what I have said before. Whatever else I haven't is a cruelty I'm sparing you from. There is no need to voice it.
[ Yuri tilts her head while turning to look at Blade. ]
Cruelty... is it?
[ Is it sparing her or that he just doesn't want to tell her? Either way, Yuri won't persist as she reaches over to the coffee table to grab a bottle. ]
[ Blade doesn't get a cup. Yuri hands him the entire bottle. She has multiple bottles for a reason. As if to demonstrate, Yuri just drinks straight from the bottle. A quarter of it is gone in one go. ]
[ Blade tilts back the bottle again to gulp it down to half-empty; it's totally fine, there have been worse choices made. His tolerance is pretty up there as well. ]
It's one way to spend time, or make it go faster than before.
I wrote down so many things, but I still couldn't figure it out. It really looks like there are only one or two important clues to think about, after all. How the murder was done doesn't look like it matters too much.
[ She's a little gloomy again, but it's whatever. She drinks some more vodka straight from the bottle. ]
...Yet, the only way anyone can get further enough to solve anything in either of the cases is if someone paves the wave towards the answer.
Though, it doesn't feel enough. But, it is something we should remind ourselves of.
[ Blade does wish he had caught Rosamund swifter himself, which is why he brings it up in the first place. As for the other...he did have his suspicions. He gulps down some of his drink, before speaking again. ]
You believe you failed because you weren't able to go through in killing her.
[ Blade is so inspirational. Damn. Yuri looks at him for a while as she holds the vodka bottle. She contemplates the amount of liquor inside it, swishing it inside the bottle before looking at Blade again. ]
People don't really die when they die here. That's why if we can't bring the deceased back to our side so that they're more than memories, Rosamund will just be living like that, forever.
So I feared two things at that moment: Rosamund would hate me for not letting her kill herself and... sentencing her to a possible eternity in a place where she has no corporeal form wouldn't give her an ending. She would never get one.
I... ditched my friend and coworker so that I could live. For some reason, I couldn't do that here.
[ Yuri can thank herself for that one. In some ways he's definitely set in how he is, but...he's changed too, even if nobody will catch him admitting as much aloud.
Anyway, they can both still be miserably-adjacent about things, however. ]
...It was different. Though you striking her down would make it certain that she'd die and no longer be a threat, it was less immediate. There was at least more than three minutes to think about what you should do, if you should do it.
Then, there was the aspect of condemning someone to a possible eternity of suffering. A fate worse than death, knowingly. For most with a kind heart, even one that wanted desperately to survive...it would be an impossible choice.
[ He says, finally, though it is only his opinion. It would not erase the turmoil, but it can perhaps ease that inner confusion. Blade finishes off his drink after another gulp. ]
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Then, he manages to stumble across Yuri. Or maybe he was looking for another familiar face all along...hah. The vibes are rancid, though they just slide far enough that he doesn't feel off-balance in a certain way he easily could have been. ]
...You're looking to bring cheer in some way to yourself. Aren't you?
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... I wouldn't say that, but it's nice to have something so... mundane running in the background.
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He wordlessly accepts her invitation, coming close to sit down, though it feels as if his own movements are not unlike a specter's. Until, of course, he turns his head back to her, and feels he can speak again in reply. ]
As a distraction, then...is it not?
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I'm... not really watching these.
[ She smiles a little. ]
I'm just thinking about some things... Everyone seems to be deeply affected by how the trial ended.
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Yes.
They had their own reasons. Between desperate hopes unfulfilled, and whatever kind of personal matters, there is the dangerous element...
[ He is just one person so he recognizes he could not have prevented the result. Despair is a familiar companion. Anger, that remains buried, but only as a broken red haze. He could not remedy what occurred the night of those deaths, nor avenge it. ]
For most, they may simply also fear for their survival.
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[ She turns the TV off. ]
How are you feeling, Blade?
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...I recognize that I am still alive, strange as it is.
Whatever I feel at any given time is nothing pleasant. I'm sure you can recall enough about myself to conclude that isn't incorrect.
[ At least, those are his thoughts. ]
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[ She wants to know his thoughts. ]
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His lips spread into a familiar off-smile, as if amused, even if the weight sits heavy within him. Not exactly simple amusement, but he feels a laugh about to bubble up in his throat. ]
Is that so...? Nothing earth-shattering...some disappointment of my own. That the wish the results were different...
[ A flicker of something like intense candle-light visible in one of his eyes; nothing supernatural, just emotion. He thinks his words speak for themselves. The way he utters them with a cold smile. ]
It will pass. Why would you ask?
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[ She sees the expression in his eyes. ]
That too, will pass like any other thing. Did you resonate with what Rosamund said?
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[ His words are even colder, though his tone is somewhere strangled, as if he is trying to hold back the emotion; probably a psychologically lasting effect of the week, because he isn't angry at her. The smile has at least gone. ]
Everyone else...they may have felt that way. However, her words weren't the ones that moved me.
[ Especially not Rosamund's. ]
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... ]
Then...?
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And if it comes at the hands of another and is, in fact, permanent, then he would accept it. He and Rosamund can't compare; the way she is indicative of the type of life she lead. Far different from his. And his own personal hang-ups on the matter. ]
Then...it is what I have said before. Whatever else I haven't is a cruelty I'm sparing you from. There is no need to voice it.
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Cruelty... is it?
[ Is it sparing her or that he just doesn't want to tell her? Either way, Yuri won't persist as she reaches over to the coffee table to grab a bottle. ]
Would you like some vodka, Blade?
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[ Both. It's definitely both.
Though, if he's being honest with himself, he might need to space some of it all. Recollection of those words about Nero landed a bit closer. ]
...I would. I believe I've tried it once before, and found it adequate enough. Though, obviously not often. Is this what you normally try yourself?
[ Blade will wait for her to pour it. ]
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[ Blade doesn't get a cup. Yuri hands him the entire bottle. She has multiple bottles for a reason. As if to demonstrate, Yuri just drinks straight from the bottle. A quarter of it is gone in one go. ]
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[ Blade shouldn't be amazed she could drink that much in one go already. Hello? ]
...Your tolerance must have grown, or perhaps it was already that much.
[ Just not Yuri's height, but he begins to gulp down the drink. This feels familiar, because that is how he has spent one of the nights. Drinking. ]
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[ She's planning to just pass the fuck out in this rec room. She has comfy clothes and is already swaddled in a blanket. Yuri is so ready. ]
And it's not that big.
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[ Blade tilts back the bottle again to gulp it down to half-empty; it's totally fine, there have been worse choices made. His tolerance is pretty up there as well. ]
It's one way to spend time, or make it go faster than before.
[ To say little of other reasons. ]
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[ ... ]
And I couldn't even do the one thing I could do right.
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[ As for the other part, he is certain she is referring to how she attempted to help Rosamund.
...Maybe. He's not very good at deducing certain conclusions unless it has to do with battle, haha. ]
Figure it out? Assist with what happened towards the end of that trial?
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[ She's a little gloomy again, but it's whatever. She drinks some more vodka straight from the bottle. ]
I contemplated killing Rosamund.
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Though, it doesn't feel enough. But, it is something we should remind ourselves of.
[ Blade does wish he had caught Rosamund swifter himself, which is why he brings it up in the first place. As for the other...he did have his suspicions. He gulps down some of his drink, before speaking again. ]
You believe you failed because you weren't able to go through in killing her.
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People don't really die when they die here. That's why if we can't bring the deceased back to our side so that they're more than memories, Rosamund will just be living like that, forever.
So I feared two things at that moment: Rosamund would hate me for not letting her kill herself and... sentencing her to a possible eternity in a place where she has no corporeal form wouldn't give her an ending. She would never get one.
I... ditched my friend and coworker so that I could live. For some reason, I couldn't do that here.
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Anyway, they can both still be miserably-adjacent about things, however. ]
...It was different. Though you striking her down would make it certain that she'd die and no longer be a threat, it was less immediate. There was at least more than three minutes to think about what you should do, if you should do it.
Then, there was the aspect of condemning someone to a possible eternity of suffering. A fate worse than death, knowingly. For most with a kind heart, even one that wanted desperately to survive...it would be an impossible choice.
[ He says, finally, though it is only his opinion. It would not erase the turmoil, but it can perhaps ease that inner confusion. Blade finishes off his drink after another gulp. ]
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