... Yes. Real or not, I think it would be very troubling if I ran into someone who wants to kill me.
[ So she trusts Blade by staying here, grounding herself with his presence.
Then off in the distance of the dog park, there's a vision of another Yuri running away from someone but turning a corner to stab someone with her sword. There's another Blade, who blocks it effortlessly with his shard sword. It seems like they're fighting for real. ]
[ Blade's sharp eyes then catch these new phantasms, wondering about the irony of it all. The dance of fierce fighting is beautiful, but unsettles him.
They always chose the simulation room for their spars, so he knows what this vision means. Trying to obscure the sight seems foolish, so he is resigned to it playing out. ]
Another illusion is upon us. Unless you wish to shake that peace of mind...you have the choice to avert your eyes.
[ Blade is caught off-guard, so he just tenses; but that doesn't last long. He reaches with his hands to lightly pull them away just a bit, looking at her.
But, her words seem to have had an effect. Even with the sound of their weapons meeting one another's in the distance, and the urge to look. To suffer. To desire that suffering to end.
To feel that pain bloom in his heart, to fuel the monster that lies within him...to let him sink into the madness of the red haze of mara, stoked by painful memories. Painful events. To lose himself. But, he doesn't want to indulge it now. No, he wants...to be at peace. ]
...You're correct that I don't have to. But, it's unnecessary...to shield me so. As long as I don't bring my gaze in that direction, I will be fine.
Let us both wait it out until it ends. Then, maybe attempt to reclaim whatever little peace we have.
I feel that your eyes would occasionally glance there regardless.
[ They can wait it out. The other Yuri seems to have lost the fight and the other Blade says something about how Yuri's resolve to live is strong, but not strong enough to match his strength.
[ Blade hates that she is right, because those words, from his other self make him want to.
For a moment, it makes him furious (mostly at himself, for being so wretched in this scenario, even if it is unreal.) What does anyone know about him? Doesn't she know how easy it is for him to kill most people here? That he's a threat? He wouldn't even hesitate? That he wouldn't feel a single thing if he raised his sword against even some of the younger ones? ]
...How would you know?
[ Blade simply asks, though this time he doesn't bother removing his hands, feeling the stab of anger leave as soon as it comes. ]
[ Despite the occasional teasing that Yuri does to Blade, she's still aware of how Blade is as a person. He can be a threat. He could easily kill anyone here, even the younger members of the crew. Yuri always knew this. ]
... Even if it hurts you.
[ Yet she stays with him anyway. She says things that could make Blade draw his sword for any reason. However, there's some sort of trust in Blade that Yuri has that he wouldn't draw his sword on her under normal circumstances. Blade may be dangerous and he may be the furthest thing from sanity, but she's still here, as a friend. ]
[ She must know, and still she sticks close. Is he fortunate? He thought that, once upon a time, not too long ago, when she dared to embrace him. Even when no one else would. He knows he will never be stable, but it is clear that does not matter to her. ]
...You are correct. Though, there is no need for you to expend such an effort, even if slight.
[ But, Blade does not begrudge Yuri for it, not completely, even if it isn't so simple either. The day which they all part draws ever nearer, where he will pursue his goals and never look back, where he will forget them all sooner than later. Yet, for now...that isn't so.
Yuri continues to support him, and in some ways, however long they have, Blade will unequivocally support her in return.
Eventually, the final blow is struck. The sound of a body falling is familiar enough that he can't mistake it, and he raises his hands to gently pull them from where Yuri has them. ]
[ She may not have to expend such an effort, but she does, for him. She frowns when his hands try to move hers away again, but she lets it happen this time. The other Yuri is dead on the grass from however the other Blade finished her off.
Blade was right. A powerful will to live only works if that will can affect actions. If the body is dead, then it can no longer influence anything. A willpower like this stops short in face of reality. ]
[ Two fingers, tapped lightly against her shoulder before Blade reaches, and holds up a puppy to her, tilting his head. ]
...And so it ends, Yuri.
[ A mere possibility. Enough to shake the soul and to shatter the spirit; but the mirage dissipates all the same. The two are still here, and they have much to confront ahead. ]
However painful our future is, we must grasp it greedily; unflinching...and never let go. But, remember to give yourself as much consideration as you have given to me.
... I feel that my survival has merely been the luck of the draw, but... every Thursday night, I was prepared in case if I was the one who woke up while everyone else was still sleeping. I always carried an item that reduced speed, my practice sword, and my bag. I was ready to hide out in the most obscure place until the murderer was too tired to find me or if time ran out. Now, perhaps if I was the murderer...
[ She didn't have any plans for that. ]
... I probably would have fought my way in desperation. Through everyone.
Perhaps 'luck' was something reserved for those who persisted. Though, I doubt that was the only factor.
[ Being prepared for a horrid outcome could keep one from experiencing something horrible.
All the same...in a heartbeat, that creature could have chosen differently. Forced someone to kill, and it could have been either one of them. But, the fact of the matter it wasn't. ]
...I wouldn't doubt you would, whatever the circumstances of how you could have ended up being a murderer or would-be killer.
... I know that at the very least, you wouldn't care as much as the others if I murdered anyone who got in my way. At the same time, there's no way I would be able to go up against so many people at once who would want to stop me. Despite being affected by the affliction, I'd still want to live, no matter what.
[ Blade wouldn't have cared if she did murder anyone who stepped in her way. ]
...You wouldn't have tried to end your life so eagerly, like the others had, who clearly saw no other way out.
I can imagine that being very much the same, even if you would have never been able to cut a bloody path through everyone. But, that's an event that hadn't come to pass. We should be grateful for that, shouldn't we?
[ Because more people would die unnecessarily. The fact that Yuri has to think that it's "unnecessary" so actively in the forefront of her mind instead of it being such an obvious, heinous crime reminds her that The City's lawless place still has a grip on a part of her mindset. ]
But please keep in mind that I actively try not to have people mad at me.
Blade is simply grateful it hadn't because he wouldn't have wanted to see what happened should Yuri have 'died'. The executions were definitely a spectacle. ]
You're talented in ensuring others aren't furious with you.
I have no need of it, but I suppose there can be merits.
[ For people who want to...you know, not deal with attempts on their life and the like. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I see. So that is why you keep reaching out?
[ He might have assumed she witnessed his death, though the fact that it is more a matter of being uncertain of his presence is also understandable. ]
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[ So she trusts Blade by staying here, grounding herself with his presence.
Then off in the distance of the dog park, there's a vision of another Yuri running away from someone but turning a corner to stab someone with her sword. There's another Blade, who blocks it effortlessly with his shard sword. It seems like they're fighting for real. ]
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[ Blade's sharp eyes then catch these new phantasms, wondering about the irony of it all. The dance of fierce fighting is beautiful, but unsettles him.
They always chose the simulation room for their spars, so he knows what this vision means. Trying to obscure the sight seems foolish, so he is resigned to it playing out. ]
Another illusion is upon us. Unless you wish to shake that peace of mind...you have the choice to avert your eyes.
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[ So Yuri reaches up and covers Blade's eyes with her hands. She thinks Blade has suffered enough mental things lately. ]
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But, her words seem to have had an effect. Even with the sound of their weapons meeting one another's in the distance, and the urge to look. To suffer. To desire that suffering to end.
To feel that pain bloom in his heart, to fuel the monster that lies within him...to let him sink into the madness of the red haze of mara, stoked by painful memories. Painful events. To lose himself. But, he doesn't want to indulge it now. No, he wants...to be at peace. ]
...You're correct that I don't have to. But, it's unnecessary...to shield me so. As long as I don't bring my gaze in that direction, I will be fine.
Let us both wait it out until it ends. Then, maybe attempt to reclaim whatever little peace we have.
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[ They can wait it out. The other Yuri seems to have lost the fight and the other Blade says something about how Yuri's resolve to live is strong, but not strong enough to match his strength.
Yuri keeps her hands over his eyes again. ]
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For a moment, it makes him furious (mostly at himself, for being so wretched in this scenario, even if it is unreal.) What does anyone know about him? Doesn't she know how easy it is for him to kill most people here? That he's a threat? He wouldn't even hesitate? That he wouldn't feel a single thing if he raised his sword against even some of the younger ones? ]
...How would you know?
[ Blade simply asks, though this time he doesn't bother removing his hands, feeling the stab of anger leave as soon as it comes. ]
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[ Despite the occasional teasing that Yuri does to Blade, she's still aware of how Blade is as a person. He can be a threat. He could easily kill anyone here, even the younger members of the crew. Yuri always knew this. ]
... Even if it hurts you.
[ Yet she stays with him anyway. She says things that could make Blade draw his sword for any reason. However, there's some sort of trust in Blade that Yuri has that he wouldn't draw his sword on her under normal circumstances. Blade may be dangerous and he may be the furthest thing from sanity, but she's still here, as a friend. ]
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...You are correct. Though, there is no need for you to expend such an effort, even if slight.
[ But, Blade does not begrudge Yuri for it, not completely, even if it isn't so simple either. The day which they all part draws ever nearer, where he will pursue his goals and never look back, where he will forget them all sooner than later. Yet, for now...that isn't so.
Yuri continues to support him, and in some ways, however long they have, Blade will unequivocally support her in return.
Eventually, the final blow is struck. The sound of a body falling is familiar enough that he can't mistake it, and he raises his hands to gently pull them from where Yuri has them. ]
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Blade was right. A powerful will to live only works if that will can affect actions. If the body is dead, then it can no longer influence anything. A willpower like this stops short in face of reality. ]
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...And so it ends, Yuri.
[ A mere possibility. Enough to shake the soul and to shatter the spirit; but the mirage dissipates all the same. The two are still here, and they have much to confront ahead. ]
However painful our future is, we must grasp it greedily; unflinching...and never let go. But, remember to give yourself as much consideration as you have given to me.
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... I promised too many people that I will continue to live now.
[ Even if that's always an uncertainty. She did it anyway. ]
So I won't let go.
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She will have (1) puppy deposited into her awaiting hands. It will probably do puppy things and excitedly put paws on her. ]
Hm...an adequate answer.
And, considering your reach, I imagine that would be no small number.
[ Just as well. He has no reason to doubt that resolve; not when because of it, and maybe due to those ties, she still remains here. ]
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[ She didn't have any plans for that. ]
... I probably would have fought my way in desperation. Through everyone.
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[ Being prepared for a horrid outcome could keep one from experiencing something horrible.
All the same...in a heartbeat, that creature could have chosen differently. Forced someone to kill, and it could have been either one of them. But, the fact of the matter it wasn't. ]
...I wouldn't doubt you would, whatever the circumstances of how you could have ended up being a murderer or would-be killer.
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cw: suicidal-adjacent topics jic
[ Blade wouldn't have cared if she did murder anyone who stepped in her way. ]
...You wouldn't have tried to end your life so eagerly, like the others had, who clearly saw no other way out.
I can imagine that being very much the same, even if you would have never been able to cut a bloody path through everyone. But, that's an event that hadn't come to pass. We should be grateful for that, shouldn't we?
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[ Because more people would die unnecessarily. The fact that Yuri has to think that it's "unnecessary" so actively in the forefront of her mind instead of it being such an obvious, heinous crime reminds her that The City's lawless place still has a grip on a part of her mindset. ]
But please keep in mind that I actively try not to have people mad at me.
[ her innate survival mechanisms... ]
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Blade is simply grateful it hadn't because he wouldn't have wanted to see what happened should Yuri have 'died'. The executions were definitely a spectacle. ]
You're talented in ensuring others aren't furious with you.
I have no need of it, but I suppose there can be merits.
[ For people who want to...you know, not deal with attempts on their life and the like. ]
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... If you say it as if I'm talented, that just makes me sound like a suck-up.
[ lol ]
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Though there's a pause, and then...his expression looks amused as he says: ]
Suck-ups do tend to have a higher survival rate.
[ help ]
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He's suffering.
Oh, sweet agony and pain. ]
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Why are you like this...
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There is no satisfactory answer available.
[ Blade now has been pawed. :nyeh: ]
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